These things I know about The Holidays:
He will say “What did we get the kids?”
You will buy too much and yet not get something “right”.
There will either be no snow or all the snow.
The cat/dog/hamster will barf/poop/die.
You will forget to send a card to that one person who will remember.
The tree will be lopsided or scraggly or expensive or all three.
Church will either be your shelter or your nemesis.
If the car got paid off this year, it will break down.
You will fret about something no one, not a soul, notices.
A family member will freak out, flake out or drive you out.
The lights will be tangled.
The batteries will be dead.
The butter/milk/flour/eggs, no matter how much is purchased, will run out.
You will deliver a gift to a neighbor you see about once a year, usually in the spring.
You are too old to shovel. Seriously. Put the shovel down.
Kids will stay up too late, awaken too early, peek too soon, nap too long, eat too much, and be too too much.
…(warning, seasonal sappiness)…
I also know not all kids will be loved. Not all countries will be at peace. Not all homes will be warm or safe. Not all checks will clear. Not everyone will have what we have this season, and though my hands are chapped, my feet ache and my wallet is empty, I hope our hearts will be full.
And maybe a little tipsy.