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It’s the most embarrassing time of the year.
The windows are open and
Mama is hopin’ that no one can heeeear!
The family is yelling, the neighbors are selling
To get out of heeeeeere!
It’s the most embarrassing time of the year!
There’ll be voices to lower,
Unless there’s a mower!
Siblings are out of control
Soon the whole block will know
It’s the most embarrassing time of the year!
Me: I’m exhausted. I sleep all day and am still exhausted.
Radiation Oncologist: Fatigue is normal after treatment.
Me: I forget things, I can’t focus, I feel like a constant failure at work, I’m easily overwhelmed.
Therapist: Try making lists.
Me: My nails are still brittle and cracking down to the quick.
Nurse: Oh nails are the worst, they take the longest to go back to normal after chemo.
Me: My joints ache so much and I feel weak.
Physical Therapist: Do your exercises!
Me: My tongue is gross.
No one: nothing, because I didn’t tell anyone about that, ick.
Me: I’ve gained ten pounds really fast.
Oncologist: So good to have your appetite back!
My period: Vanishes, then stays for twenty days.
OB/GYN: Let’s do a transvaginal ultrasound and then a hysteroscopy!
Me: I am more depressed than before.
Psychiatrist: Let’s try adding a new med.
Me: I’m cold all the time, I can’t get warm.
Husband: I turned up the heat.
Me: Maybe we can just double check and do a thyroid test?
My thyroid: IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME
*I have radiation-induced hypothyroidism. The radiation field for breast cancer can often get close to the thyroid gland and cause this problem. My radiation treatment was even higher up the neck and literally aimed directly at the damn thing, so who knows why I wasn’t screened more proactively…Anyway, it’s a relief to know. I started medication tonight, see you in 4-6 weeks, I’m going to bed. Also, it took awhile to get the blood test because I WAS TOO TIRED TO GO.