girl at large

The Twelve Days of…

On the first day of chemo my doctor gave to me a puncture and an IV.

On the second day of chemo my doctor gave to me two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

On the third day of chemo my doctor gave to me three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

On the fourth day of chemo my doctor gave to me four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores , a puncture and an IV.

 

On the fifth day of chemo my doctor gave to me fiiiiive kinds of poooooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV!

 

On the sixth day of chemo my doctor gave to me six nights a sweating, fiiiive kinds of poooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

 

On the seventh day of chemo my doctor gave to me seven scans a scanning, six nights a sweating,  fiiiive kinds of pooop,  four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

 

On the eight day of chemo my doctor gave to me eight aides a helping, seven scans a scanning, six nights a sweating, fiiiiiive kinds of pooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

 

On the ninth day of chemo my doctor gave to me nine fingers tingling, eight aides a helping, seven scans a scanning, six nights a sweating, fiiiiive kinds of poooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

 

On the tenth day of chemo my doctor gave to me ten hours a sleeping, nine fingers tingling, eight aides a helping, seven scans a scanning, six nights a sweating, fiiiiiiive kinds of poooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

 

On the eleventh day of chemo my doctor gave to me eleven platelets working, ten hours a sleeping, nine fingers tingling, eight aides a helping, seven scans a scanning, six nights a sweating, fiiiiive kinds of pooooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV.

 

On the twelfth day of chemo my doctor gave to me twelve email surveys, eleven platelets working, ten hours a sleeping, nine fingers tingling, eight aides a helping, seven scans a scanning, six nights a sweating, fiiiiiive kinds of pooooop, four shooting pains, three barf bags, two mouth sores,  a puncture and an IV!

Holiday Helper

Back story:

We’ve been working on cleaning up the disastrously cluttered basement, and have unearthed some forgotten projects. Paulie hung up a swinging cocoon chair for Felix, taking two or three attempts to find a spot to anchor it securely in the old lathe and plaster bedroom ceiling. He left one rather sizable hole. The Hole the kids call it. The Hole has produced a few nightmares, and at least one stink bug.

Today’s story:

Over the summer, Felix accidentally saw our Elf (of the famous Shelf). At the time I hastily invented a very unbelievable story about parents having the elf doll that then gets imbued with magical elfin spirit or some such thing. Kinda creepy really.

Anyway, I figured by now he knew the truth of the Elf, and though he still quite vocally believes in Santa, perhaps it was time to recruit him to be my Elf helper. I read somewhere that is one way to handle it when kids stop believing.

So, I explained that though the Elf isn’t real, the magic feeling is and he can now help me keep it going for Charlie. I probably spoke for too long, with too many explainationz….as I usually do when faced with what I think are Big Parenting Moments…at first silence, then—-

Felix: “Well, thanks a lot for ruining that, Mom! I believed your story!”

Also Felix: “Can I put his butt in The Hole?”

 

‘Tis The Season

Should I Eat These Crackers (nuts, cookies, olives, etc)?

Are they unopened? —-then probably not.

Are they a brand you don’t recognize or usually see in the cupboard? —-probably definitely not.

Are they fancy? —-oooh, probably really shouldn’t.

Is it December? —-Danger danger danger

 

Did you answer yes to two or more of these questions?  If so, don’t you dare eat those crackers, they are for COMPANY.

COMPANY! 

Been There, Done That

Next year, I might give the kids gifts on Thanksgiving. By that day the kids have outgrown last years jackets and are down to one glove between the two of them.  My resolve to hide their new coats, gloves and hats is gone before the pumpkin pie is.

This morning, Felix was distressed that he couldn’t find his coat. Not in the house, not in the van. He gets so anxious as it is (mornings are tough), I was glad I could be the hero and not just the parental nag for once. Up from the basement I emerged triumphant with the most amazing, most warm and most “cool” new ski jacket. Whew.

Tonight, chit chatting about our day, Felix said he felt guilty about ruining a Christmas surprise with the coat. Then, he explained, after exploring the cool new jacket’s NINE pockets, he felt even worse that he also ruined the “cool ski pass surprise”.

Crap. The ski pass. Felix thought I had gotten him a ski trip to Germany for Christmas.

I didn’t.

What I DID do is get him a second hand ski jacket that has BEEN to Germany.

Bless his heart, he thinks that is EVEN COOLER.