A few of my favorite gems from the family gathering last week in Edgar, Nebraska:
"But she's so pretty! I just can't imagine why she's still single" (Yes, I was standing right there).
"So are you bunking with Stella since you're single?" (Stella is my 5 year old niece).
"You seem really comfortable with who you are. You know, you seem ok with it". (That started out good...)
Replies to the "No" after "Do you have kids?" and/or "Are you married?":
-"Don't worry, Jesus must have other plans for you".
-Silence. More silence.
-"But you're so pretty!" (Well, if I'm pretty enough to be married, but not, I must be a total bitch.)
-Pained look, then silence.
-"That's ok". (I hope so--what, is someone rounding up the childless for an internment camp? Are there cocktails?)