once a Cheesehead, always a Cheesehead

Todays funny e-mail forwarding: "More Wisconsin Humor - these are so true! It is common for the wedding party to go home and do chores between the wedding service and the reception. The town you grew up in had a bar called Ma's Place. Your best shirt has a big letter G on it. You know how to polka, but never tried it sober. FFA was the most popular club in high school. You've seen a Hodag, or, at least you think that's what it was. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. You know it's traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between ceremony and the reception. You know that there is no 'r' in Wausau. You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday. You can recognize someone from Illinois by their driving. You buy your Christmas presents at Fleet Farm. You are a connoisseur of cheese curds, and find anyone unfamiliar with them to be frighteningly foreign. You get irritated at sports announcers that pronounce it "Wes-con-sin". You own at least one cheese head. You immediately think of fishing when you hear the name "Shakespeare." You spent more on beer than you did on food at your wedding. You know that Kaukauna is NOT a Hawaiian Island. You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph. You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair. You know that "combine" is a noun. You know what a FIB is. You know that a pastie is not an article of clothing. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions. You can tell the difference between "real Wisconsin cheese" and that "Illinois stuff." You know that creek rhymes with pick. Your class took a field trip to a brewery. . in second grade. Football schedules are checked before wedding dates are set. You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, and Poland all in one afternoon. A Friday night date is taking your girlfriend shining for deer. There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning. ...phew! You have driven your car on a lake. You can make sense out of the words "upnort" and "batree." The Packers will always be better than the Vikings, no matter what the standings are. You know that De Pere is not a wooden structure extending into "Da Lake." You can leave your ice cream in the car while you go into Fleet Farm! , and it won't melt. You always believed that vacation meant "going up north." You have more fishing poles than teeth. At every wedding you have been to you have had to dance the hoky poky & the chicken dance. You know what a bubbler is. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar. The local gas station sells live bait. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire east coast. Your mom asks, "Were you born in a barn?" and you know exactly what she means. You include beer as one of the major food groups. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. Your sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie. You are a member of the Polar Bear Club and proud of it. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday. You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike. Your bank has the name of your town included in its name. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Wisconsin friends." ...and of course, I did. My favorite part---the original sender was from the UW Ag department! Spending that week with Angel and Dan, (Dan being from Stoughton, Wisconsin) brought back good memories---though next time I'll insist they arrive bearing cheese curds and Kringle.