oh, Madame Capitaine!

went into SFR to get a simple pre-pay cell phone (like mine, very convenient and actually much less $ than stateside) for Bert to have on the boat...you know, for the "Get her ready, we're coming out to the harbor in twenty minutes!" calls. this is how is goes: >first, wait patiently 30 minutes for the person who arrived AFTER you to be served first >then, ask for what you want. (politely, in french) >prompty get told that no, even though that item is available (and the person asking already has such a thing) you cannot do that now, its not possible. >ok, fine then. agree to the other thing, this time it being a contract with monthly fees (ok, so it is a lower rate). >wait patiently for multitude of forms to be printed out. >wait patiently for multitude of forms to be filled out (in triplicate, and then stamped by other clerk when she returns from her break) >PROBLEM! you don't have an electricity bill in your name?! that cannot be! well, why would you rent an apartment where the electricity is included?! that's impossible! no, you simply cannot have a mobile phone without one. how is that you have the other phone? (gee, that's why i asked for the prepay one in the first place, but never mind that!) nothing can be done? oh no, madame, you must have all the proper documentation (to prove that i want to give you my money, huh?!) >confer, discuss and begin to believe you may have to bag the whole idea (and try to salvage what is left of the afternoon!) but then,... >SOLUTION! voila! mention that it is FOR YOUR BOAT! oh!, for your boat madame? who is the capitain? you are! of course Madame Capitaine! no problem! (a phone call to the Capitainiere to confirm the berth under our name) here you go, just sign this and you are all set! merci! au revoir! ok, mental note: always carry BOAT documentation! the secrets to the french heart (and bureacratic systems); have a dog, a baby, a bicycle or a boat! (preferably all four!)