girl at large

Just Call Her Vinny.

"Mom, it's spelled V-I-V-I-E-N-N-E. Vivienne."

"Vivine?"

"No, Vivienne. Think of the French spelling".

"Vivenne?"

"No, Vivienne. V-i-v-i, then e-n-n-e".

"Oh, just email it to me".

 

Who Knew

One year ago tonight, Paul and I had our first date. The weather was overcast with a chance of rain that night as we both walked from opposite corners to the restaurant door:

Paul: "God, I hope she doesn't think I'm a wuss because I brought an umbrella".

Me: "God, he brought an umbrellla--what a wuss."

So Sentimental

Paul and I are discussing the ways we will pay for the wedding (and the house move, and the baby). Paul wants to use some of his teaching salary, or as we call it his "MIAD Money". Me: "But you wanted to use that for a trip or something special" Paul: "Kate, the wedding IS something special."

First Doctors Appointment

Me: "I'm not looking forward to getting poked and prodded for the next nine months" Paul: "That's what you get for getting poked and prodded for the last nine months!"

This Changes Everything.

1) Yes, I am.

2) About 5 weeks. The due date is October 6th.

3) Yes, we were trying. (But our quick success is a surprise!)

4) Yes, we are getting married. He asked me in the kitchen, with his coat on, after racing home when I told him on the phone. For the record, I asked him first months ago and he said yes. 

5) No, I didn't originally intend to tell him over the phone. But I couldn't help it! 

6) Prudence, Clementine, Mavis, Hazel and Vivienne are great girl names and you are not allowed to have an opinion until you meet her and then you can say to her face that you don't like her name. Ditto for Leo, Chester, and Theodore.

7) No, I don't have a ring. I don't want one. I do, however, very much want an Engagement Convertible. 

8) We have no idea when the wedding will be---most likely this spring. 

9) And we have no idea yet what type it will be ---most likely small and casual.

10) Most of all, yes, we are thrilled!

The Things We Say

A few memorable quotes from my trip to Palm Springs. Can you guess who said what?

1) "So why did you have to go to the Internet to find a woman?".       A) Tom  

2) "That's what she said".                                                              B) Paul

3) "I usually just lick it and stick it back in".                                    C) Mom

4) "I'm so dehydrated my pee looks like orange juice".                     D) Everyone, every day, all day

He Fits Right In. That's What She Said!

Being recruited to do renovation demo, a kitchen plumbing mishap,long drives in a rental car, the worst of the worst embarrassing family stories....The Boy has sailed through the first Mikkelsen family holiday with flying colors. And Mom is in top form. But she may have met her match: Mom, as he was mopping up the water on the floor from the backed up trap:"Has she had you down on all fours yet?" Paul: "Not in the kitchen"

The Meat Sweats

I took Paul up to Cedar Lodge for dinner with Dad last night. I had already explained the fritter appetizer, but I neglected to warn him of the post-dinner meat sweats.

One Reason To Keep The Boy Around

The Boy, looking at me unwinding after work: "A glass of Rose, a piece of chocolate---you're a foot rub away from heaven!" Me: "You said it, get over here, take my shoes off!"

Arriving Like A Rock Star

I get in to the hotel in Portland at 9pm local time (11 central, started my day at 5am) after a 7 hour delay in Denver last night to....a freshly delivered room service steak dinner, cheese and crackers from the gourmet grocery, my favorite raspberry booze treat chilling on ice (in the trash can, how adorable), and a pressie from Powells Books. Which was, of course, a Charlie Harper book. Because my boyfriend is f'ing amazing.

Crap, I really have to keep giving out.

Sometimes It Is The Destination

I'm returning to the Deluxe Hotel in Portland, Oregon tonight for my friend Meg's wedding.

I stayed at the Deluxe my very last night in Portland, two years ago.
I had packed up the house, the truck had left, the apartment was empty
but it was too late and I was too tired to start the drive. So I
treated myself to one last night in my favorite place. They allow dogs
too so Miss Ruby was all cuddled up in the down comforter right away.
I sent out messages to my friends that I would be at the Driftwood
Lounge in the lobby for one last beverage. I expected maybe one or two
to come. They ALL came. It was a lovely night. Meg walked me up to my
room for one last Ruby kiss, then teared up when she said goodbye to
me----she's a tough cookie, not a crier. I will always remember how
touched I was.

I was excited to be moving on, but sad to have failed at yet another
business, another town. I was sad to leave the best, most "Kate"
apartment I'd ever had. I was happy to be returning to family, but
questioning whether I could really stand all the "Wisconsin" things
that I don't like about Wisconsin. I had hopes that I'd be able to
make my dream come true by compromising on the job (it was most
definitely not my dream job) and moving close to family who could
support me. I was planning on having a family someway, some
how---probably on my own. That would never be possible in pdx, so
there I was on my way back to moo town. But that was a stretch too,
the only thing I really knew was that there was no future for me in
Portland. And I wanted to be home.

I had a ten day drive adventure ahead of me, then a whole new life
with a new job I had no idea how to do, a new town I didn't know. I
had no idea what was waiting for me at my destination.

Turns out it was everything I could have ever wished for. And then some. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Ready Or Not

It's been a calendar year since I moved in, and this closet has been filled to the brim that entire time. Somehow I managed to get it empty and all the household debris put away in one day. The hottest, stickiest day of the year, of course. But it's done. Which means the close ready for The Boy's stuff. Am I ready? 

It's About Time

When you've waited 10 years for something, falling in love in 10 dates seems perfectly reasonable. I may regret this post in the future; if it all goes tits up. But for the moment, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of the ride. I deserve it. He deserves it.

It's the first kiss, the first road trip, the first time meeting family, the first first time...all those intoxicating moments. I'm going to soak it up. I have a feeling it's our last first time.

First Cringe, Then Laugh

He's so mushy! I'm so rusty! Boy: "You're like unwrapping a present" Me: "You're like an overdue library book"

Doorbell Dash

I've said since I was all of 25 and already mildly bitter, that my ideal domestic situation is not marriage, or even living together, but instead is "Two one-bedroom apartments next door to each other with a shared balcony". Or perhaps one of those hotel-style adjoining-room double doors. 

I've lived in and viewed a hundred apartments--flats, duplexes, high rises, attics, basements, walk ups, chopped up Victorians, mid-century shambles, condo complexes, four plexes....and never have I seen a "shared balcony". Until now.

My new apartment has a wee tiny stoop...with a little walkway that continues down the side of the building and up to the neighboring one-bedroom apartments wee tiny stoop. In effect, a shared balcony. That apartment has been empty since I moved in, but this past week there was some renovation activity. And then...

There was a knock on my door tonight. I foolishly opened the door, thinking it was my other neighbor regarding our current parking dilemma--she's a 50ish woman. It was not her. It was my very tall, very handsome, 30's something very male new next door neighbor introducing himself.

I think I may have caught one of my swinging boobs in the door as I rushed to close it. "NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME!!"  Bra-less, in slippers, skin rash cream fresh on my face, and I'm not kidding you, a dribble of toothpaste visible on my ratty t-shirt.

In my defense, I was getting ready for bed!! Who knocks on a strangers door at bedtime for the first introduction?!?!

Someone who doesn't get ready for bed at 8:30, that's who.

Kindness Stings

A few of my favorite gems from the family gathering last week in Edgar, Nebraska:

"But she's so pretty! I just can't imagine why she's still single" (Yes, I was standing right there).

"So are you bunking with Stella since you're single?" (Stella is my 5 year old niece).

"You seem really comfortable with who you are. You know, you seem ok with it". (That started out good...)

Replies to the "No" after "Do you have kids?" and/or "Are you married?":

    -"Don't worry, Jesus must have other plans for you".

    -Silence. More silence.

    -"But you're so pretty!" (Well, if I'm pretty enough to be married, but not, I must be a total bitch.)

    -Pained look, then silence.

    -"That's ok". (I hope so--what, is someone rounding up the childless for an internment camp? Are there cocktails?)

Nothing really ever changes from the 7th grade.

do I email him? do I call him? do I email him? do I call him? has he googled me? do I call him? will he call me? what does he see if he googles me? ok, googled him. do I call him? do I text him? when is he going to call me? call me! call me! call me!

dear lord, this is why I shouldn't even bother.

I Blame The Red Wine.

Every year or so, I have just one glass too many and leave my credit card too near the computer and then, magically, I'm enrolled in an online dating site! How did that happen again? And as always, the photos. Guys, the photos!! Here are a few of my favorite "Don'ts". -Don't include shots that show you drinking shots. -On that topic, generally, bar shots are a no-no. And house party pictures? Really? You're 42 and enticing me with a picture of yourself surrounded by dozens of those cheap red plastic beer cups? -Don't crop out the ex-girlfriend if doing so also eliminates more than 30% of your own head. -Limit pets to those that are furry, big-eyed and cuddly. No matter how cuddly, limit the number of pets in one photo to two. -Do not include guns, swords or weaponry of any kind unless it is directly related to your profession (as in policeman, zoo keeper, sword swallower).

Why Torture Me?

I hate getting messages from long lost loves. If you're not going to drop everything, show up at my door and start making babies with me, then for heaven's sake go away and leave me alone! Sigh.

Where do I live? That's classified.

I have been single for too long. When I had a guest over for dinner last week, I was a wreck. Not with the usual date-jitters, but just by the thought of anyone being in my teeny, tiny apartment. I'm not known for having company over--there's barely room to swing a cat, much less entertain. And I'm hopelessly private about my home. All day long, five days a week (or more) for nearly fifteen years, I've worked in retail. In retail, you are a captive to the public---anyone can walk in that door and you have to interact with them, no matter how painful that may be. So, as a result, I jealously guard my alone-at-home time. I've told people to go away through the mail slot. All friends know that the drop-by is the worst of sins. I had a knot in my stomach the entire dinner---and a little voice in the back of my head gritting its teeth and muttering "Get out of my house, get out of my house, get out of my house." Any doubt I have trouble dating??? Poor guy didn't stand a chance. One thing I've learned this time around is that maybe I haven't been single for too long, perhaps instead I haven't been single long enough. Down in the honesty section of my gut, I actually like it, maybe even prefer it. I'm back on my two-one-bedroom-apartments-with-double-hotelstyle-doors as the perfect domestic situation for me.

Happy Birthday a moi, et H.

The 5am birthday (international) phone call. Gee, thanks for thinking of me---but maybe next time, think of the time zones???? ha ha. Oh well, it's my birthday! Woo-hoo! (and H.'s too, woo-hoo!)

Starbucks, mass transit, housing... but what about the boys?

hey! i wasn't crazy with this idea! seems someone has compiled a list of the Best Places for Dating.

alarm

wine + sappy movie + ex-boyfriend's email address= big touble. oh boy. this is a frightening age. i always thought the cliches were just that , cliches---but you just wait unitl you wake up in the middle of the night--"what's that noise?" tick tock tick tock. oh, F*&% that's my biological clock. shut it off! shut it off!!

where to?

now i've got Chicago in mind again ....California, Savannah, Chicago??....there are too many choices and no sure fire way to find out which place is right for me. is rating the replies to singles postings a fair way to judge a city? it's making for some interesting data: SAVANNAH: these men, no surprise, are either full-fledged rednecks (send picture of pick up truck) or desperately trying to flee the redneck stereotype. CHICAGO: never before have i seen the phrase "successful man" so much. do you have a willy and balls? there you go, you are successfully a man! LOS ANGELES: all these guys claim to be tan, buff, tall and athletic. yuck. SAN FRANCISCO: when did being too busy to have a social (or any) life become sexy? i don't get it. and if everyone really liked the outdoors all that much, we'd all be living in tents. maybe i'll just enjoy the time i've got left here and throw a dart at a map the week before i leave.

where you goin' sailor?

there's this guy who walks down our street and up through 'dog poop lane' nearly everyday on his way to and from the port---seems it's his favorite shortcut. i've seen him hundreds of times, heard him greet someone in english once--i think he may even be american. but he's been here long enough to adopt that french-style frozen face---no american-style smile and greet on the street with him. which is a shame. because this guy. is. yum-my. but wait a minute! two days ago i popped out the front door and there he was again. and i got a relaxed face and a mumbled bonjour! what a development! and this morning, when i reached out to open the shutters, there he was again, just below. i ducked in of course---no one needs to see me before i've had my shower and coffee. i'm a natural disaster area in the morning.

getting out there, phase two

had my first outing last night as a result of last week's speed dating experience. had a very good time! turns out the fellow's roommate is a gal i'd met when i first arrived and she had a friend in town so we all four went out for drinks and dinner in Antibes. the gal's friend is from Louisianna! ha! small world. the "Fellow" (funny, gracious, charming and sooo gentlemanly) is an airplane pilot--mom's comment as i walked out the door--"Ask him if his landings are smoooooth!" you can imagine the hand gesture. god help any man i bring home.

feeling stuffy, but still a little slutty

the one good thing about having a cold---i went to the singles night (speed dating in English) tonight--and was so stuffed up and high on cold pills that i had no time or consideration to be nervous--and had a seriously good time. and The Sweater didn't let me down--'old reliable'..of course, in my state, i didn't notice til too late that most of the evening one or the other of my boobs was hanging out. ha! much better stock of boys this time--some of them even could be said to be 'men'! hmm...wondering what will surface in the 'match' emails to come.....

miracles do happen

i just got a home made birthday card from The Custard. and a birthday email from The Old Man. and a birthday/Christmas package from The RyDog. i've heard of it, it's sometimes in the movies, i've been told it happens; that the (hetersexual) men in your life do occasionally remember these things, but i don't think i've ever really seen it before in real life. well, wonders never cease!

bday resolutions

step one of year 31: Get Out There action taken: am signed up for local English-speaking singles night this upcoming Wednesday. (hopefully, it will not result in a repeat of last year's disaster date!: "Um, you've got a sandwich crumb in your beard there." "Oh, I'll get it later." Later?!?!....) preparations: must launder The Sweater pronto. results: pending

The Custard Then and Now

going through the pics from my trip to Savannah, i've realized that The Custard hasn't really changed a bit in three years, aside from the occassional facial hair experiment and the recent bleach blonde madness. take a look. cooking up some goodness: that is the exact SAME rooster t-shirt, still extra-extra large. i call it 'the dress'. the kitchen environment has improved, mainly because that's now mine (i am admittedly house proud). that goofy face: every time someone tries to get a nice shot of us together, he makes that silly face! i have like two decent pic of us out of hundreds. ugh! the beer: same beer, different day. though it must be said, he's upgraded from only the old school PBR (or Natty Light!) to others, including the occassional rather impressive Guiness.

and i thought surviving the teenagers years with mom was tough

Miss Liz and i are heading out on the town tonight in Cannes..and mom's piece of advice? "Don't wear underwear!". um, right-o. but what if in your heart, your knickers are in California anyway? sigh.

more chocolate anyone?

no time is so lonely as time-difference time.

go west young man (and chick)

my brother's blog entries have slowed since his move to Hollywood and the big new important job at WoW, but he still has a zinger entry now and again. a Kramer-esque roomie with a new meat slicer? i'm concerned for the kid's safety! what is it with California? Aunt Anna a few years back went off to San Francisco, then Affable Dan left Savannah for Hollywood, then Thomas deserted Chicago for Hollywood as well, now Miss Kristan leaves Las Vegas behind for the fiance in LA, and of course The Ex, The Boy, The Custard is in LA as well. and Miss Dawn's been wanting to get out there for ages. should we just all hire a bus?

if it's on a spoon and no one sees you, it doesn't count

am pining for boy. have consumed far too much of Burgandy-in-a-Box (can you believe it's appellation controlee?) and all manner of chocolate, including but not limited to: liquid, cake, bar and Nutella-on-a-spoon. when not eating chocolate or fumbling with wine box nozzle, am smoking like cliche chimney (or standard frenchie). congenial roomie Duncan is also pining--for lovely wife patiently waiting in Australia. two romantically frustrated folks in the same household? lucky we have any chocolate and wine left at all!! and see, then my sister has to email and comment on that picture of me and The Boy, you know, THAT picture. (scroll to 'that's a girl in trouble alright'). and of course, she says: "You have that look you get just before you cry happy tears". and she's dead on, and that's just not fair! damn, damn, damn.

international soap opera

it's rainy and gray (the locals say unusually so, but i suspect the glorious weather mom always raved about is somewhat overstated come winter time), i was spoiled by the temps in Savannah last week. i was spoiled by alot of things in Savannah last week. sigh. double sigh. what's a girl to do? Jill had Liz and me round for drinks last night after i'd finally got myself back to Cannes..very nice to have a laughy girly chat. (though, surprisingly enough, roomie Duncan is doing very well at providing the same thing, bless him!). when i arrived, both were inspecting the blog, particularly the pics of me and "the dishy boy". Jill is hooked, "better than East Enders" she says. i had to clarify my Blonde Gay Brother entry ('dum-dum-da-dum', Thursday Nov.13). no, my brother is not 1) Gay or 2) Blonde. it's a long story, but Jamie (wedding attendant and friend) back in the day misheard introductions when Chris and i first met him and thought i was making out with my brother. ok, so that was corrected. then, at this most recent event, Chris was newly bleached blonde and arrived with a gay friend--Jamie didn't recognize him and thought he was our friend's new boyfriend. so, there, according to Jamie's warped mind/humor, i was making it with my Gay Blonde Brother. ha!