girl at large

Who Knew

One year ago tonight, Paul and I had our first date. The weather was overcast with a chance of rain that night as we both walked from opposite corners to the restaurant door:

Paul: "God, I hope she doesn't think I'm a wuss because I brought an umbrella".

Me: "God, he brought an umbrellla--what a wuss."

Dear FIAT,

I am so disappointed in the new Abarth ad featuring Charlie Sheen. It makes the Abarth look like a wealthy mega-consumers personal indoor golf cart. Charlie Sheen is an ill person suffering from drug and alchohol addiction who has mistreated his family, fans and coworkers. He is NOT a good representative of Fiat. I own a 500, and adore it. I was thrilled to see the Abarth at the LA auto show and was seriously considering purchasing one this spring. I am not sure any more. Please get the message right for both the 500 and Abarth----its a car worth much more than the shallow celebrity endorsing, pandering, low bar advertising we've seen so far. Its a passionate, head-turning, Italian design icon thats a kick in the pants to drive! Tell that story!! Thank you, Kate Mikkelsen

So Sentimental

Paul and I are discussing the ways we will pay for the wedding (and the house move, and the baby). Paul wants to use some of his teaching salary, or as we call it his "MIAD Money". Me: "But you wanted to use that for a trip or something special" Paul: "Kate, the wedding IS something special."

First Doctors Appointment

Me: "I'm not looking forward to getting poked and prodded for the next nine months" Paul: "That's what you get for getting poked and prodded for the last nine months!"

This Changes Everything.

1) Yes, I am.

2) About 5 weeks. The due date is October 6th.

3) Yes, we were trying. (But our quick success is a surprise!)

4) Yes, we are getting married. He asked me in the kitchen, with his coat on, after racing home when I told him on the phone. For the record, I asked him first months ago and he said yes. 

5) No, I didn't originally intend to tell him over the phone. But I couldn't help it! 

6) Prudence, Clementine, Mavis, Hazel and Vivienne are great girl names and you are not allowed to have an opinion until you meet her and then you can say to her face that you don't like her name. Ditto for Leo, Chester, and Theodore.

7) No, I don't have a ring. I don't want one. I do, however, very much want an Engagement Convertible. 

8) We have no idea when the wedding will be---most likely this spring. 

9) And we have no idea yet what type it will be ---most likely small and casual.

10) Most of all, yes, we are thrilled!

What Other Wonders Will Be Revealed?

Mom called last night, as she does more often now that she lives stateside--- "I was polishing the car, and guess what? The trim, the trim around the windows is gold! I have a pim..., it's been pimped, I have a you know pimp mobile! And then, you know what I have? I have a sun roof!"

She discovered the sunroof, not from the inside, but because she was polishing the roof outside and noticed the "big rectangle".

Mom has taken the MB to all the hot spots---Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond. But the fun only lasts until dusk; at least until she locates the headlight switch.

Check Please!

-Organize the scarf drawer (including ironing them). Check.

-Three loads of laundry. Check.

-Find the Christmas tree ornaments. Check.

-Organize the scarves, hats and gloves. Check.

-Wrap all the Christmas presents. Check.

-Order Christmas cards (just under the wire!). Check.

-Get the car snow shovel and snow brush out of storage. Check.

-Pack away summer shoes and purses.Check.

-Flip the mattress. Check.

-Organize the sock and undies drawers. Check.

-Two bags to Goodwill. Check.

-Clean out the scary closet. Check.

-Put most of the stuff from the scary closet in the frightful storage space. Check.

 

 

 

The Things We Say

A few memorable quotes from my trip to Palm Springs. Can you guess who said what?

1) "So why did you have to go to the Internet to find a woman?".       A) Tom  

2) "That's what she said".                                                              B) Paul

3) "I usually just lick it and stick it back in".                                    C) Mom

4) "I'm so dehydrated my pee looks like orange juice".                     D) Everyone, every day, all day

He Fits Right In. That's What She Said!

Being recruited to do renovation demo, a kitchen plumbing mishap,long drives in a rental car, the worst of the worst embarrassing family stories....The Boy has sailed through the first Mikkelsen family holiday with flying colors. And Mom is in top form. But she may have met her match: Mom, as he was mopping up the water on the floor from the backed up trap:"Has she had you down on all fours yet?" Paul: "Not in the kitchen"

The Meat Sweats

I took Paul up to Cedar Lodge for dinner with Dad last night. I had already explained the fritter appetizer, but I neglected to warn him of the post-dinner meat sweats.

Family Traditions

The boy wants to know if my family photographs every meal.

What's Next, The AARP Flash Mob?

My Dad sent me two iPad app recommendations today; both of them stellar, neither of which I knew.

One Reason To Keep The Boy Around

The Boy, looking at me unwinding after work: "A glass of Rose, a piece of chocolate---you're a foot rub away from heaven!" Me: "You said it, get over here, take my shoes off!"

Arriving Like A Rock Star

I get in to the hotel in Portland at 9pm local time (11 central, started my day at 5am) after a 7 hour delay in Denver last night to....a freshly delivered room service steak dinner, cheese and crackers from the gourmet grocery, my favorite raspberry booze treat chilling on ice (in the trash can, how adorable), and a pressie from Powells Books. Which was, of course, a Charlie Harper book. Because my boyfriend is f'ing amazing.

Crap, I really have to keep giving out.

Sometimes It Is The Destination

I'm returning to the Deluxe Hotel in Portland, Oregon tonight for my friend Meg's wedding.

I stayed at the Deluxe my very last night in Portland, two years ago.
I had packed up the house, the truck had left, the apartment was empty
but it was too late and I was too tired to start the drive. So I
treated myself to one last night in my favorite place. They allow dogs
too so Miss Ruby was all cuddled up in the down comforter right away.
I sent out messages to my friends that I would be at the Driftwood
Lounge in the lobby for one last beverage. I expected maybe one or two
to come. They ALL came. It was a lovely night. Meg walked me up to my
room for one last Ruby kiss, then teared up when she said goodbye to
me----she's a tough cookie, not a crier. I will always remember how
touched I was.

I was excited to be moving on, but sad to have failed at yet another
business, another town. I was sad to leave the best, most "Kate"
apartment I'd ever had. I was happy to be returning to family, but
questioning whether I could really stand all the "Wisconsin" things
that I don't like about Wisconsin. I had hopes that I'd be able to
make my dream come true by compromising on the job (it was most
definitely not my dream job) and moving close to family who could
support me. I was planning on having a family someway, some
how---probably on my own. That would never be possible in pdx, so
there I was on my way back to moo town. But that was a stretch too,
the only thing I really knew was that there was no future for me in
Portland. And I wanted to be home.

I had a ten day drive adventure ahead of me, then a whole new life
with a new job I had no idea how to do, a new town I didn't know. I
had no idea what was waiting for me at my destination.

Turns out it was everything I could have ever wished for. And then some. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Ready Or Not

It's been a calendar year since I moved in, and this closet has been filled to the brim that entire time. Somehow I managed to get it empty and all the household debris put away in one day. The hottest, stickiest day of the year, of course. But it's done. Which means the close ready for The Boy's stuff. Am I ready? 

It's About Time

When you've waited 10 years for something, falling in love in 10 dates seems perfectly reasonable. I may regret this post in the future; if it all goes tits up. But for the moment, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of the ride. I deserve it. He deserves it.

It's the first kiss, the first road trip, the first time meeting family, the first first time...all those intoxicating moments. I'm going to soak it up. I have a feeling it's our last first time.

First Cringe, Then Laugh

He's so mushy! I'm so rusty! Boy: "You're like unwrapping a present" Me: "You're like an overdue library book"

Fruit or Fritter?

I dropped in at Dad's on the way back from a last-minute work appointment in Menasha earlier this week. My timing was excellent---they were going to have dinner at Cedar Lodge.

Cedar Lodge does what it does very well. Which is to say, it stuffs you to the gills with red meat and ridiculous extras while it wraps you in cedar-paneled Midwestern warmth. Ordering takes awhile.

Fruit or Fritter?

Lettuce Salad or Cottage Cheese?

Lettuce Salad---House, Ceasar or Bacon Spinach?

French Onion or cold Strawberry soup?

Potato, Rice or Vegetable? 

Potato---Baked, Mashed, Hash Browns or American Fries?

Baked Potato---once or twice?

It was the longest conversation I've ever had that started with "I'll have the tuna". 

The Dorks In My Life

Gotta love the dog walker's status update. The subject line for photo 2 was "success". Good lord.

Thank you.

Geraldine Ferraro

It never occurred to me that I couldn't do or be anything I wanted because I was a girl. Because I'm unmotivated or incompetent, yes, but never because of my girl-ness. And that was in part because Ms. Ferraro was on the ticket when I was 12 years old.

I distinctly recall thinking "What is the big deal?" In one way, that is wonderfully typical for my generation--many of us don't see the big deal about sex, race, sexual orientation, etc. But let us not forget that it was so different not so long ago, and that for many of our peers around the world, the lack of that freedom is a very big deal.

You Wanna Mess with Me?

Customer complaint: "You either misrepresented the table or sent the wrong one--it's not white. It's off-white. You had better do something about it." It's hard to tell tone in an email, but that had an edge to it to me.

Then, when the business partner called, the edge was crystal clear---he didn't even let me reply to his question or get a word in edgewise. On and on about how the table wasn't white. And my favorite---"And besides, we don't want a used table in the break room for sanitary reasons". Sanitary reasons? Really? 

It is a commercial grade table, for fifty bucks. You asked for a "really cheap, simple table--white would be fine". I sent you a cheap, simple, white table. 

But no bother, I can fix it. I suggested ordering a brand new, custom made table in their choice of WHITE laminate. All agreed that was the best solution, good idea.

And then I overnighted them samples of EVERY SINGLE SHADE OF WHITE LAMINATE available. Tee hee.

Frankenstein's Closet of Technology

I've been limping along with a hodgepodge of damaged devices both at work and home for months. The work lap top is missing the air card and the battery, only one usb port works, and the little hourglass is up so often I am in danger of being hypnotized by it.

My big home eMac died last year; complete with the gut-dropping sad mac face. It's still down in the storage space, I can't bring myself to bring it in and find that everything that was on it can't be recovered. Since then, I've been using the MacBook that mom left behind when she upgraded. It's track pad is broken, the battery won't hold a charge, and there's a dvd permanently stuck in the drive. The big Obama 2008 sticker on the top is heartening, but not helpful.

And you know about the iPhone. The sad, sad story of the iPhone. It took me quite a bit longer than anticipated to reach the goal I had set for myself for replacing it. Yes, I dropped it 2 weeks after I got it, and yes, it's taken 2 years to reach the replace it. 

The Jetta, the poor abused Jetta, is teetering on the edge. One day it's good, cheap transportation. The next, it's a frightening risk ride. At any moment, the transmission (or god knows what else) will complete that strange clanking song with an final kerthunk.

But now it all changes!

A new work laptop arrived on Friday. My co-worker responsible for this great gift wears both an accounting and an IT hat; and though we work well together, he is not huggable. And I am not a workplace hugger. Except that day. I truly got giddy. I think there was a jig. We both got funny looks from the rest of the accounting office. 

Yesterday, I picked up my new shiny MacBook. My aunt gave me the one her son had punched (not a Mac guy!) in frustration, breaking the screen. One replacement screen and power cord later and I have a practically brand new MacBook for under 300 bucks! If anyone has any ideas on how to pay someone for something they refuse to take money for, let me know. This computer is worth way more than a thank you note. 

While I was at the Apple store last week, I inquired about, at last, a replacement iPhone. And found, to my great pleasure, that my AT&T contract is up in 2 weeks! Not only can I get a new iPhone at the reasonable new-contract price, I can get it on Verizon!

And, lastly, the car. It goes into the body shop tomorrow morning for a few repairs (including re-attaching the front bumper). I had been putting off the repairs because it pained me to spend more on fixing it that its blue book value. The body shop I found by accident (it's next door to the doggy daycare) is fantastic. On my estimate, he wrote: "Make a little less ghetto---$300 cash". My kinda place!

Once repaired, it will be traded towards a new car. I doubt I'll get more than tax and title, but it will be the Jetta's last and very appreciated act of service. I haven't found the right car yet (or the right car salesperson!), but I have a feeling that the universe is on my side at the moment. Like all good things, it's going to find me.

 

Sniff of Spring

It is very satisfying to shovel out my front walk; clearing away the 8" of compacted snow and ice that is at last melting into manageable chunks in today's sunny spring tease. It is back-breaking to do it with a trunk-sized emergency car shovel.

I should get a proper shovel, but I refuse. I'm a renter for a reason! I refuse to let this lazy landlord win!

Goals

I got the hair into pony tails! Many more months of growing it out to go, but this is a big achievement. Next goal? Pay off every single debt. My progress on that is slightly less advanced.

 
All this grown up stuff sucks. All I really want to do is run around in pigtails.

Walk the Walk

I have my Motto for 2011!

I'm going to learn how to do the things that I have, at some point in my life, claimed to know how to do (or about), but in fact, don't. Like riding a bicycle. This will also include doing a few things that I never made false claims about, but have been too afraid to attempt. Like voice lessons.

Thanks to the Ennis family for getting me started...by giving me a bike for Christmas! Who knew?!

 

Letters from Mythical Characters, $.05 a word

I've been offered a position as a parenting consultant after this creative attempt at discipline seems to actually worked! Taming two little boys into treating toys nicely is a tough one. Even though it worked for now, overall, I give it two weeks.  :)

click on the photo of the letter above to see it in a new, readable window

Neglectful Me

I haven't posted since October?! Shame on me. Blame Facebook.

Here's to a better showing in 2011. I have not found my motto for 2011 yet, it is sure to find me in the coming weeks. I prefer a motto to resolutions; mottos are positive, inspiring and more likely to last. However, Aunt Peg's motto choice last night, "I have many regrets", doesn't quite capture the concept. She was laughing while she said it so I'll assume there's an inside joke there.

Happy New Year!

Really?
The local news high school sports segment featured the story of Kewaunee High School's need to change its Indian mascot name and logo to comply with Wisconsin state law.
A moment later, the weatherman's feature was a detailed explanation of the term "Indian Summer"!

Austerity Measures

I really want to get the Trailer in time for use next summer...steps must be taken to save the bucks for the trailer, the seasonal site, the fix up, the maintenance....and the For Sale sign when I realize I don't actually like camping after all. 

The recession shows little signs of improvement; I need to do these things Trailer or not. But the goal of the "saving for the Trailer" is so much less depressing than "saving to pay dentist in hopes of keeping teeth from falling out". 

    -Goodbye Sendik's (equivalent to Zupan's, Whole Foods, the gourmet gas station). Hello Trader Joe's!

    -No more Goodwill. This seems counter-intuitive, but I can spend as much at Goodwill as anywhere else...especially at a good one.

    -Downgrade Cable service. Going to basic and giving up the DVR dropped the bill by 1/2! Yes, I miss the DVR, but somehow I found the time this week to clean the bathroom grout. 

    -Move to a smaller, cheaper apartment. Done! 

    -Negotiate everything. I'm learning that asking doesn' t have to be rude or insulting, and that "Don't ask, don't get" is true.

    -No more using coupons! Or discount cards or email offers! Hmmm...had no plans to order from that catalog until I got that coupon in the mail. Had no plans to get that item until I saw that email. And so on.

    -Speaking of email offers...delete my name from every retailer email list. Unsubscribe baby! Until I started doing this, I didn't grasp just how many temptations I was allowing right into my front door as it were. Literally dozens and dozens every week, every day.

    -Use up every single bottle, jar and tube of moisturizer in the house before buying any more. 

    -Bring my lunch. This sounds simple, and I'm told that many people have always done this. But this is a hard habit to develop for the only kid who actually liked "hot lunch" (the nifty divided tray alone!).

    -Sell the overflow of furniture and household stuff from the apartment downsizing on Craigslist and eBay. I sold three things this week already!

    -Cancel all automatic electronic bill payments. Sit down and write a check for each bill, each month. When it's just zapped out of the account I have little control, but worse, it's not real to me. Sitting down and looking at each expense will push me to make better choices and deeper cuts. 

    -Split the cable internet bill with the neighbor and share via wifi. Done! Full disclosure: this was my neighbor's idea.

    -Rent the dog out to bachelors...ok, maybe not. But never say never, anything for the Trailer!

    

    

    

    

Doorbell Dash

I've said since I was all of 25 and already mildly bitter, that my ideal domestic situation is not marriage, or even living together, but instead is "Two one-bedroom apartments next door to each other with a shared balcony". Or perhaps one of those hotel-style adjoining-room double doors. 

I've lived in and viewed a hundred apartments--flats, duplexes, high rises, attics, basements, walk ups, chopped up Victorians, mid-century shambles, condo complexes, four plexes....and never have I seen a "shared balcony". Until now.

My new apartment has a wee tiny stoop...with a little walkway that continues down the side of the building and up to the neighboring one-bedroom apartments wee tiny stoop. In effect, a shared balcony. That apartment has been empty since I moved in, but this past week there was some renovation activity. And then...

There was a knock on my door tonight. I foolishly opened the door, thinking it was my other neighbor regarding our current parking dilemma--she's a 50ish woman. It was not her. It was my very tall, very handsome, 30's something very male new next door neighbor introducing himself.

I think I may have caught one of my swinging boobs in the door as I rushed to close it. "NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME!!"  Bra-less, in slippers, skin rash cream fresh on my face, and I'm not kidding you, a dribble of toothpaste visible on my ratty t-shirt.

In my defense, I was getting ready for bed!! Who knocks on a strangers door at bedtime for the first introduction?!?!

Someone who doesn't get ready for bed at 8:30, that's who.

Unexcused Summer Absences

Wow...I had an eventful, lovely summer, but didn't blog from mid-July through mid-September. Perhaps I wasn't blogging because I was out living. Or perhaps it was because I couldn't find my computer under Mom's crumpled Kleenex's. Either way, it's high time to catch up...

...huh, all my funny summer stories escape me at the moment. 

In The Bag

I'm sure I'll find yet another bag of snacks under the sofa, but for the moment, here is the list of goodies Mom left behind:

Mustard Pretzel Mix

Pop 'ems powdered donuts

Kettle Cooked Potato Chips

Malted Milk Balls

Hawaiian Style Potato Chips

Chocolate Chip Cookies (home made)

Peanut M&M's

Goldfish

I'll be a hit with the crew at work tomorrow when I dump all this on the lunch room table. They're not getting the Kettle Corn though; that's all mine!

Anthropologists Should Go To Summer Festivals

The people-watching at Summerfest was fascinating, sometimes it was also center stage. We were off in a shady secluded corner so the baby could nurse (dappled sunlight, wholesome families) when a woman stumbled over and threw up--big, classic liquid vomit arch. How she remained standing on those hight heel sandals, I don't know. Well, actually, the standing didn't last long. She then passed out in her friends lap. It was 2:30 in the afternoon.

The faithful friend dutifully rubbed the "sick" lady's (remember the presence of children) back, supported her floppy head, and was rather stoic in the face of stares and whispered giggles. With a straight back, she took her free arm, reached over the tanned backside of buddy into a tiny purse, pulled out a lip gloss and applied. 'Atta girl!

Middle of Somewhere

Despite the restrictive pinch of the Bible belt, the repetitive nature of rows of corn, and the vast distances traveled to obtain fresh produce; I enjoyed my visit to Nebraska.

Smarties in the kitchen drawer, a stray cat in the sawdust of the wood shop, the card playing buddies with lollies in their front shirt pockets, the rose water aunties and main street one-finger steering wheel waves...Edgar is brimming with childhood memories. Before Starbucks and credit card debt, doc martins and divorce, eating disorders and vitamin D deficiencies. 

I roll my eyes and make the usual jokes about Jesus and overalls and pick up trucks. But I wouldn't tease if I didn't love. That little town is dying. One of my great-great aunts arrived there by covered wagon with her parents. I said "..I understand the coming, it's the staying I don't get...". It got a laugh, as intended. But as the fields turned to strip malls and parking lots on the way to the airport, I understood a little about the staying.